Oh Florida… This travel guide series is about to take you on a wild ride through all the thrilling, weird, and wonderful things to see, do, and experience in every corner of the US. And yes, that includes America’s cheeky little phallic appendage to the Southeast.

This state is a point of contention for many. You either love it or you hate it. If you know me, you know that the thing I love most about Florida is leaving. However! Even I am willing to admit, there’s a rhyme and reason that this sweltering hotspot draws in tourists like a magnet. It’s not unlike Vegas in the way that it’s where people go to sow their wild oats. Hey, it’s worth trying at least once!

Florida’s story may be as sticky as its muggy atmosphere, yet with its rare ecosystems, balmy beaches, rich biodiversity, and of course, world-famous theme parks, it truly offers some of the best of the best. Whether you’re a Nature Lover, Night Owl, Foodie, History and Culture Buff, Adventure Seeker, or just someone scouting for Hidden Gems, the Sunshine State has got you covered. 

Vamos a ver, shall we?

Florida’s Rich History

Long before European settlers landed, Florida’s story began beneath the waves. Around the time the dinosaurs bid their dramatic farewell, Florida started rising from the sea like a turtle-heading its way above sea-level. For millions of years, it remained a vast, wet wilderness, uninviting to most would-be settlers (old habits die hard it would seem.)

Though Florida has always been a more hostile environment for human habitation (again, what else in new!), it has been home to enduring populations of people for eons. Here’s a quick overview:

Paleo-Indian Period (12,000-8,000 BCE): Enter the earliest Floridians, the Clovis culture. These ancient Americans are known for their distinctively fluted projectile points. This period coincided with the late Pleistocene epoch, so these nomadic hunter-gatherers thrived in a post-Ice Age landscape full of mastodons and giant sloths where temperatures were generally cooler than present-day Florida.

Archaic Period (8,000-1,000 BCE): As the climate warmed, Florida’s indigenous peoples developed new tools and techniques for survival. They expanded their diet to include nuts, seeds, and small game, with seasonal campsites and middens as evidence of their increasingly sophisticated lifestyle.

Woodland Period (1,000 BCE-1,600 CE): This era saw the emergence of more permanent settlements and the rise of agriculture. The Timucua and Calusa, among several other groups, had distinct lifestyles that combined hunting, gathering, fishing, and agriculture, though to varying extents. The Calusa in particular were known as the “Shell People” who built impressive shell mounds and held extensive trade networks with other villages, often located along rivers and coastline.

Contact Period (1,600 CE onwards): The arrival of European explorers in the 16th century brought significant upheaval. The indigenous populations, including the Timucua and Calusa, navigated a rapidly changing world, engaging in both conflict and cooperation with the newcomers. Ultimately, these languages and cultures ended up succumbing to the pressures of colonization. Only small pockets of Seminole and closely-related Miccosukee tribes remain on scattered reservations throughout Florida, where they fight to maintain their language, customs, and cultural identities.

Florida’s colonial history is marked by the Spanish influence, which lasted nearly 300 years. The Spanish established missions and forts along the coasts, while Native American groups on the northern Creek Confederacy and escaped African slaves found refuge in Florida’s interior and marshlands. This diaspora ultimately led to the formation of the infamous Seminole nation. As settlers claimed more and more land, the Seminoles were progressively pushed further and further south into harsher living conditions. The Seminole Wars waged on as they learned to live and navigate this increasingly harsh swampscape and fiercely resisted American expansionists who encroached on their continually shrinking home. 

The 19th and 20th centuries saw Florida’s transformation from a largely untamed wilderness to a bustling agricultural and tourism hub. The state’s involvement in the American Civil War really set the tone for much of its contemporary culture, as it seceded from the Union to join the Confederacy on January 10, 1861 (something about January and insurrections I guess), becoming the third state to do so. Its booming industry of imported citrus, and its allure as a vacation destination also contributed greatly to its modern identity. Later, Florida became a key player in the space race, hosting launches that captured the world’s attention.

Today, Florida is celebrated for its sunny beaches and its unique admixture of Deep Southern and Caribbean cultures. Cities like Miami and Orlando offer thrilling urban experiences, while the Everglades and countless state parks host bountiful natural beauty and adventure. 

Best Time To Visit Florida

The answer is pretty much whenever. Florida’s climate is a perpetual invite to the outdoors, offering scorching temperatures all year round. Whether you’re a beach bum, an outdoor enthusiast, or a festival junkie, there’s always something (actually) sizzling in the Sunshine State. Here’s your quick and playful guide to enjoying Florida through the seasons:

Spring (March to May): The perfect time to bask in the slightly less-suffocating heat of “spring”. During this stretch of the year, it’s already summer and has been since February so swimming, boating, and venturing into the wilds is all very much on the table. Think of it as Florida’s version of a hot warm-up before the sinister waves of infernal heat still yet to come.

Summer (June to August): Time to dive headfirst into the sun-soaked madness – and I do mean madness. Florida Summer is synonymous with a maldita calor akin to the surface of the sun and massive crowds flooding in for beach vacations, theme parks, water sports, and the ever-so electrifying buzz of Florida’s dominant culture of absolute fecklessness and chaos. Who needs Sin City when you have a whole Sin State. Just remember to pack sunscreen — and lots of it. Thoughts and prayers!

Autumn (September to November): Autumn in Florida means cooler weather (well, high 70s), making it ideal for widely still green fall festivals and exploring the state’s natural beauty sans the Hellscape of Florida’s summer crowds and blistering temperatures. It’s the perfect season for those who like their beach days with a side of pumpkin spice.

Winter (December to February): Join all the other snowbirds and trade in your snow boots for flip-flops. Winter in Florida brings cooler temps perfect for hiking, water-related outdoor activities (in South Florida), and warm holiday festivities. It’s also the prime opportunity to rub it in the faces of your friends back home shivering in the northern – probably Michigan – cold.

Getting to Florida

Traveling to Florida has never been easier, thanks to its high-level of connectivity and transportation options. Whether you’re taking to the skies, cruising the highways, or riding the rails, Florida is your oyster. Here’s how to get there and get around:

Flying: With major airports in Miami, Orlando, Tampa, and Fort Lauderdale, you can hop on a plane from just about anywhere. These hubs connect you to the world with a dizzying array of domestic and international flights. 

Road Tripping: If you’re all about the journey, not just the destination, Florida’s backroads are not always sketchy, some are super pretty too! Hitting historic routes like the Overseas Highway to the Florida Keys in particular allows you to avoid run-ins with Florida’s more unhinged residents like you might in Florida’s interior; but instead can bask in a panoramic view of the sea on all sides. It’s an incredible drive!

Train Travel: New train travel options are luckily becoming a thing in Florida! Take a comfy ride through Florida’s landscapes on the Amtrak’s Silver Service/Palmetto route makes stops in hotspots like Miami, Orlando, and Jacksonville. Or for a dash of speed and style, I highly recommend trying out the new Brightline high-speed train for smooth inter-city travel between Miami and Orlando.

Public Transport: Once you’ve landed, Florida’s cities offer bare-bones in terms of public transport options — that being buses, trolleys, and light rail. They can be handy in the downtown areas, but let’s be real: you’re going to need a car to truly get around.

Top Things to Do in Florida

🏞️ For Nature Enthusiasts:

Florida is a haven for nature lovers, with its stunning beaches, beautiful parks, and unique ecosystems. There is certainly no shortage for outdoor adventures to be had in Florida. Here are some favorites:

1. Everglades National Park: This is where things get really wild — literally. Everglades National Park is one of the most unique places in the US and the world over. Explore diverse wildlife, mangroves, and sawgrass marshes in this iconic park. Take an airboat tour to spot alligators, manatees, and a dazzling array of bird species. Don’t forget to bring your camera!
2. The Florida Keys: Dive into the crystal-clear waters, vibrant coral reefs, and bustling marine life of the Florida Keys. Snorkeling, scuba diving, and boating are just a few of the aquatic activities that lie await. Key West is surrounded by ocean and offers unparalleled underwater wonders.
3. Gulf Islands National Seashore: Experience pristine beaches, historic forts, and scenic trails along the Gulf Coast. This national seashore is perfect for hiking, swimming, and picnicking, with a backdrop of striking natural beauty. And if you love birding, welcome to paradise, as over 300 species of feathered friends and fowl aplenty call this place home.

🌃 For Night Owls:

Florida offers a cocktail of options to indulge in some of the best nightlife in the country, (especially Miami.) Whether you’re looking for live music, exuberant bars and clubs, or festivals, Florida has something for every kind of party animal. Here are a few top picks:

1. Nathan’s Beach Club (Miami’s South Beach): In one of the party capitals of the country, South Beach is teeming with extravagant bars, clubs, and beachfront parties. Nathan’s Beach Club stands out as an iconic LGBTQ+ venue where you’ll find neon lights and top tier drag shows. Accompanied by its elegant Art Deco architecture along Ocean Drive, Nathan’s adds a splash of color to your night, making it an unforgettably homosexual Miami experience.
2. The Social (Orlando): The Social is a must-visit venue, promising a spirited night out with a variety of music genres. From indie to hip-hop, this venue caters to a wide array of musical tastes, ensuring a memorable night in the heart of Orlando.
3. The Ritz Ybor (Tampa): This historic nightlife district is known for its cigar factories, bars, and clubs. The Ritz Ybor is a standout, offering live music and dancing in a historic venue. With its grand architecture and electric atmosphere, The Ritz Ybor is perfect for those seeking a mix of history and modern nightlife.

🍽️ For Foodies:

Florida’s culinary scene is less so a cuisine of its own, but more of a blend of cuisines. With a focus on fresh seafood, the food in Florida is often Latin-inspired or Floribbean in nature, with unique iterations of regional dishes. It’s the state where the flavors of the Southern north meet the Caribbean south. Here are some Florida favorites:

1. Blue Heaven (Key West): Indulge in fresh seafood dishes at Blue Heaven. This Key West gem offers a whimsical garden setting for your meal. The relaxed, eclectic atmosphere is perfect for savoring the flavors of the sea. For a taste of local history, try the Key Lime pie — it’s worth the hype!
2. Versailles Restaurant (Miami): Savor authentic Cuban dishes like ropa vieja, lechon asado, and Cuban sandwiches at Versailles Restaurant. This famous spot offers a taste of Cuba de verdad right in Miami. The vibrant décor and lively ambiance, coupled with the aroma of Cuban cooking, create an immersive dining experience that’s hard to beat.
3. The Ravenous Pig (Orlando): Experience fresh, locally-sourced ingredients at The Ravenous Pig. This standout restaurant offers creative dishes that highlight Florida’s bountiful produce. The cozy, rustic setting makes it the perfect spot for a memorable meal. Whether you’re indulging in their signature charcuterie board or savoring a hearty entrée, every bite at The Ravenous Pig is a celebration of local flavors.

🏛️ For Culture & History Enthusiasts:

Explore Florida’s history and cultural heritage at its various museums, archaeological sites, ruins, and cultural or research centers. Here are some recommendations to delve into both the state’s past and present:

1. Kennedy Space Center (Cape Canaveral): Dive into the history of space exploration at this iconic center. Featuring exhibits on NASA’s missions, rocket launches, and the future of space travel, it’s a must-visit for space buffs. Don’t miss the chance to see a real rocket launch—it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
2. Castillo de San Marcos (St. Augustine): Step back in time at the oldest masonry fort in the continental US. Built by the Spanish in the 17th century, it offers historical reenactments and stunning waterfront views. Wander through the fort’s corridors and imagine the days of Spanish colonial rule.
3. Ah-Tah-Thi-Ki Museum (Clewiston): Learn about the Seminole Tribe of Florida at this museum. It features exhibits on traditional crafts, clothing, and history, along with a boardwalk through a cypress dome. It’s a deep dive into the rich cultural tapestry of the Seminole people.

🪂 For the Adrenaline Junkies:

Florida has a full-bodied range of activities for adventure seekers, including skydiving, parasailing, zip-lining, or even just driving on I-4 (iykyk). Here are some top picks for those in need of an adrenaline fix:

1. Halloween Horror Nights (Orlando): Encounter terrifying haunted houses, spine-chilling scare zones, and live shows that bring your worst fears to life. With movie-quality sets and relentless horror around every corner, Halloween Horror Nights delivers a heart-pounding experience and a world of nightmares. 
2. Be an Alligator Trainer for a Day (Orlando): Gatorland’s program lets you get up close and personal with alligators under expert supervision. It’s a daring and educational way to learn about these swamp dwellers. If you’ve ever wanted to channel your inner Crocodile Dundee, here’s your shot.
3. Roller Coasters (Various Locations): Feel the rush at Florida’s theme parks. Busch Gardens, SeaWorld, and Universal Studios offer some of the wildest roller coasters known to man. From gravity-defying drops to twists and turns that will leave you breathless, these rides are a must for thrill-seekers.

💎 Hidden Gem: Dry Tortugas National Park

While Florida’s beaches and major attractions often take the spotlight, don’t miss the opportunity to explore the state’s Dry Tortugas National Park. This gem tucked away out of sight, out of mind in the Gulf of Mexico, offers a glimpse of Florida’s natural beauty and history alongside stunning coral reefs. Here you’ll also find historic Fort Jefferson, and an abundance of marine life swirling about in the surrounding crystal clear waters. Accessible only by boat or seaplane, it’s a perfect destination for snorkeling, diving, and exploring without the hoards of people.

Conclusion

Florida is where possibilities stretch as far as its endless coastline and as wide as its flat open spaces. Whether you’re craving beach days, a look into the days of olde, invigorating nightlife, or just trying to spot Floridaman in the wild for yourself, Florida and all of its feral inhabitants have got you covered. Like Taylor Swift said: if you’ve got some regrets, you can bury them in Florida. Don’t worry I won’t call you despicable or unforgivable –– probably. So what are you still reading this for? Go grab your sunscreen, some shades, and probably a good life insurance policy; adventure awaits! 

¡Adios, que vayan bien!